Although this Brian fact is more about me than him, I’d really like to share this with everyone because I think it’s important. Growing up, I was never the skinny one or the pretty one. Never the outgoing one or the one that everyone wanted to hang out with. I wasn’t picked on because that would mean that people paid attention to me, instead I just blended in. I stayed quiet and was never really bothered. I had/have friends, but it’s the kind of relationship where, if I didn’t contant them, we would probably never speak. Now as I walk through campus to go to class, I am almost run into by someone on a day to day basis. I am invisible. I’ve pretty much always been that way, but it’s partly my fault. My self esteem has never been that great, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that it’s bad, only because if something gets to stressful or painful in my life, I just bury it inside and pretend that it’s not there.

I’ve been a fan of Brian’s for almost 2 years now and, like any fan, my dream (on the surface) was to meet him. But, when my opportunity came during his club tour stop in NYC, I froze. Being the kind of person who would go out and do something I’ve never done before and meet new people, let alone Brian Joo, was the kind of thing I just didn’t do. I told myself that it was just too impossible for me to go because of how late it was and complications on getting to the city, but deep down I knew that if I really wanted to go, I could have. I didn’t.

I also convinced myself that maybe it was best if I never met Brian because, after a year and a half of being his fan, if it turned out that he wasn’t everything I thought he would be, I would be disappointed. I told people that too, but I knew it wasn’t the reason. I didn’t want to meet Brian because I didn’t want him to be disappointed in me. I wanted to be thinner, prettier, and just plain better for someone who meant so much to me. Not that I thought he would be disappointed in me, but I just thought he deserved to have a fan better than me. I wanted to give him that, but I knew that I couldn’t.

Then the opportunity of a lifetime came to me out of sheer chance. I had tweeted Brian randomly the night before and he responded with some interesting information. The information was that he was going to be in my town, just ten minutes away from me the next day. I immediately thought (and tweeted) that even though he was so close, I felt like there was still no chance of us every being face to face, but he responded again, reassuring me that it could happen. He inspired me to do something that I’ve never done before; to be spontaneous and do something out of my invisible person’s comfort zone. I’m still not sure what came over me or that it ever will again, but the next day I went to the place where Brian said he would be and told myself that I wasn’t going to leave until I found him.

After only about an hour, I saw him. He was just about to pass me and I immediately did an about face to introduce myself. After I got his attention, he said that he remembered me from twitter the night before and how awesome he thought it was that I would come just to see him. I was nervous of course, but Brian could not have been any nicer even though I had interrupted him when he was out with his family and friends (which I still feel bad about btw). He signed an autograph, took a picture with me, and even gave me a hug. I would also just like to add that the picture and hug were suggestions of Brian’s, not mine, because I was kind of unable to speak at that point and I really did feel bad about interrupting, so I didn’t want to ask for too much. After I had walked away and let him get back to his day, he tweeted me, saying how blessed he felt to have fans like me… LIKE ME.

During our meeting, there was not one instance where Brian made me feel anything less than wonderful. He didn’t make me feel at all like I was a burden or a disappointment to him and even though most of our short time together is a little hazy in my brain (probably because I was mostly unable to function with Brian Joo right in front of me), that part is something I will never forget. Brian made me feel like I wasn’t invisible for just a few minutes and, for that, I feel like I owe him a whole lot more than just this tumblr. I will never be able to thank him enough for what he did for me.

This is the picture I took with Brian. It is because of Brian that I can post this picture of myself for everyone to see.